Apparently New York school children and/or their parents and guardians are easily offended at least that’s what it seems as the NYC Department of Education has put together a list of 50 words, or more specifically topics, banned from use in its Standardized Tests. So, are these words the usual suspects, the four-letter words, the cuss words, the unholy expletives, the coarse, or course, vernacular for sex, death and other facts of life? Of course, not, the list is as ludicrous as the idea of being offended by words in the first place and includes: dinosaur, evolution, divorce, sex, celebrities and computers in the home…in fact, prepare to be mortally offended here’s the full list:
Abuse
Alcohol
Birthday
Bodily functions
Cancer
Catastrophe
Celebrities
Children dealing with serious issues
Cigarettes
Computers in the home
Crime
Death
Dinosaur
Divorce
Evolution
Expensive
Gambling
Halloween
Homelessness
Homes with swimming pools
Hunting
Junk food
Unemployment
Nuclear weapons
Occult
Parapsychology
Politics
Pornography
Poverty
Rap Music
Religion
Religious holidays
Rock-and-Roll
Running away
Sex
Slavery
Terrorism
Television and video games
Traumatic material
Vermin
Violence
War
Weapons
Witchcraft
To be honest, I’m not sure what kind of education an NYC kid is going to get if all those topics are banned from their tests. Does it really mean that they cannot be tested on the pros and cons of video games, the Second World War, evolution? If so, then someone in the Dept of Ed needs to head out into the real world. Creationists are offended by dinosaurs? Tough! Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate birthdays, so no one else can mention them? BS! Halloween is a pagan festival? Well, isn’t banning it offensive to pagans? Sheesh. I hope this is all just a happy spoof, although I can see the benefits of banning celebrities. If not the NYC DofEd are bunch of flipping ninnies who ought to know better.